Tag Archives: Pamela Anderson

Grown-Up Stuff – Paradise Lost

In 2010, I remember walking in lower Manhattan around 14th street on the west side and seeing a grown-up video store advertise Kim Kardashian’s grown-up video with R.J. Norwood – on sale. Three months later, I decided, “I’m going to buy that.” I couldn’t find or remember the location of that store to save my life. I kept thinking, “Why did I wait so long? Why wasn’t my mind made up?”

The answer is pretty simple: she’s dull most of the time, so she might be  pretty dull there, too. There’s not much talk out there devoted to feats of awesomeness (the Pamela and Tommy Lee video springs to mind), so this wasn’t exactly something to go hunting after.

This fruitless search brought up a pet peeve about these sorts of places: like a crappy comic shop, you won’t find what you’re looking for. There will be no nights in Paris, no Chyna & X-Pac, no Rebecca Gayheart and what’s-his-face, no Danielle Staub or Dustin Diamond (was that really supposed to be a comeback? A comeback to what?) and no Shakira video, either. Pamela and Tommy Lee? Not even on the discount shelf.

So what is there to be had? Rows and rows of generic exotic babes posing for bland DVD cover photos, showcasing their skill at Pilates, really. There’s not even a grownup-famous celebrity, like Lisa Ann (Nailin’ Palin) or Jenna Jameson or Kelli McCarty or a few that I can’t remember right now (gee, this is not the most well-researched blog entry you’ll read here, but maybe that’s a good thing).

How about those parodies? I really wanted the Batman video, but they don’t have that, nor the Saved By the Bell one (I’m just assuming they did that, it seems so obvious). Over at http://www.comicbookrehab.blogspot.com – Earth Prime, I tended to nag about crappy comic shops, but Jeez, when you’re willing to walk into a grown-up video store, you can’t help but expect to get exactly what you want out of the experience and not leave empty-handed. So Comic Shops – do me a favor, just do me a favor: don’t follow the business model of a grown-up video store. We’re reserve the right to walk out empty-handed, but we don’t really want to.

I apologize if there are grown-up stores outside NYC that don’t follow this example and actually do cater to the needs of the consumer. Bless you, noble shopkeepers, bless you.

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